Fallen Stars
by Elizabehta Beilschmidt
Summary: Little drabbles or stories that I need to get out of my system. Mamura and Shishio lovers are welcomed to this shipping hell.
1. Words

Well, I think I should be sleeping. This can't be healthy.

My first fic for this amazing manga. I cried so much the first time i read it and I almost died the second, so here is my penance for breaking my heart again with falling in love with Satsuki.

Keep in mind that english isn't my first language. It's spanish. So, any mistake you see or anything bad at all I'm sorry. I'll try to improve.

* * *

 _ **Words**_

 _What if I don't lie?_ , he asked himself while he traced the silent tears rolling down her cheeks with his eyes. He wanted to do so many things, say so many others, but above all he didn't want to lie this only time. He just couldn't say those hurting words, not at her face and not even when Yukichi has threatened him if he didn't end it right now.

 _Do you love me?_ , she had said with her cute voice breaking in the wrong places, those damn tears begging him to clean them away, those cracked lips wanting to be kissed. She looked so sad, so different from that cheerful girl from before all of this started, that he felt guilt creeping in his veins and asking him to lie.

But he didn't want to. She was probably the only true love he had in his twenty-four years of life. Childhood crush and some girlfriend in high school and college, is true, but this was way more heavy than that. His need to keep her despite all the trouble was a sign of what his heart really wanted right now.

 _Just say the damn word, dammit!_ He thought, but his mouth wasn't moving. He knew his voice wouldn't come easily and a lie wasn't believable enough if you stutter even a little bit.

He closed his eyes and his best friend face appeared behind his eyelids, taunting him, furious eyes that looked disappointed in him. Disgust written all over it. He felt disgusted with himself.

 _Why?,_ he thought. _Why her? Why me? Why now!_

He opened his orbs and as he watched her beautiful blue eyes dull and become gray with sadness, he knew he couldn't do it. Not now, not ever.

"I love you."

Some spark came back to her eyes and he almost heard her heart skip a beat. She was so pure and innocent, so full of youth. He felt even more disgusted by saying these words now. She had her whole life ahead, years of school trips, crushes, dates and broken hearts that would heal eventually. She wasn't ready for his love, his feelings.

But selfishly, he said those stupid words again.

"I love you, Suzume."

He hadn't realized that he was crying too.


	2. Smile

_**smile**_

If someone asked him what made him fall so deeply in love, the answer wasn't a simple one. Her eyes? He strength? Her endless energy?

No, it was her smile.

She smiles with sunshines and flowers, her face bright and cheered like a kid in christmas. She would smile almost all the time, to everyone and for everything, and he loved that. At first he thought it was her _naiveté_ that blinded her of the pain and darkness of this world; but after everything that happened (Satsuki fought to forget that memory), he knew it was the source of her strength. She smiled and smiled to charge her up with energy to cope with painful emotions, with stress, and she _gave_ that energy to all that surrounded her.

He felt blessed every time she smiled at him. It was like being kissed by the sun. And the curious thing about it was that she didn't ever realized the powers she had, the things she could do with that smile.

Or maybe, she could. Because thanks to it Shishio wasn't killed that fateful night when her uncle caught them kissing in the park near the apartment. It was a few weeks after their confession and he had been introducing her to his "adult feelings" bit by bit, slowly guiding her through all he knew and was comfortable about. They barely had started the kissing thing, not wanting to feel that their relationship was purely physical, so it was a real hit when Yukichi punched him right in the face and screamed hurtful things at his face.

He already knew all these things. He knew it was really wrong and nine years was too much. But he just listened in silence, got to his feet and said goodnight. He feared the worst, so when he got home Shishio started crying thinking that Suzume wouldn't come back to school next monday or ever again, that he would send her back to her hometown. No one asked why he looked so gloomy and not even a student dared to ask him anything on his way to the class. He didn't expect her to be there at all so when his eyes clashed with her blue ones Satsuki almost lost it. He was sure that everyone noticed, it was too obvious, but was grateful that anyone pointed out the various mistakes he made through his lesson.

After class was over and lunch break started, he found her in the backyard looking at the trees dancing in the wind. He just couldn't wait anymore and hugged her little frame.

"What happened? I was so worried, Chun-chun."

"Me too," she confessed returning the hug. "Uncle almost called mom. He packed my stuff and wouldn't listen any word I say."

"I'm so sorry… If I just-", she stopped him with her hand open in front of her face.

"It's ok. I fixed it. I can stay here until I finish high school. Then… we have to think of something."

Two years. They got only two years. Shishio closed his eyes and smelled her sweet scent tainted by the salt of her tears.

Some months later, when Yukichi accepted him back in his bar, he discovered that her bright smile when she spoke about her precious sensei was what convinced his friend that Suzume wouldn't survive if he banished her from Tokyo.


End file.
